Marriage Blog

What is one new idea you learned from the article from Richard Miller ("Who is the boss? Power Relationships in Families")? Husbands and wives have different responsibilities, but they function as equals. There is a lot of controversy on how equals can have different roles, and still be equal. I felt that his point was well made and made additional sense and gave me additional information if I am challenged in the future as to why I feel equality is possible with different roles. Equality does not mean equal shares of the load though, as I feel that as we go through life, we have periods of time where we need more or less help(mother having a newborn and needing more help comes to mind) and it is a constant give and take. In what ways do you think a couple and family could benefit from having a weekly family council? What are the specific principles highlighted by Elder Ballard that would especially be relevant and applicable to a family council? Having an equal k...

In a nutshell, explain in your own words what is needed to overcome gridlock (Gottman)? Being upfront and honest about our hang ups. Also to be respectful of what is important to our partners. We all have different dreams. Even if I don't understand why it is important, it doesn't make it any less important then my dreams. As we get older, I have found that I can give my husband more room for his dreams, because I have learned how it is so important for me to have mine, and he needs that same courtesy.  What is the central message of Gottman's book? "Here's how I can accurately predicate marriage failure rate. This is why, this is how you can be prepared for success in the future, and also know that some of what you are told about marriage just isn't true." What is the most important thing you learned from Gottman's book? That marriage is both simple and complex and that things are never as they seem. What is the central message of G...

What does it mean to fulfill the sexual stewardship in marriage? To have  or work towards a meaningful sexual relationship with your partner.  Working towards being on the same page, and respecting each others needs and desires as well as our own. From the readings, what were the two most important ideas that stick out in your mind? That we need to make sure we are in the third mindset. That we don't shy away from talking and discussing our relationship with each other, so that we can work together for each other and ourselves.  As a married person, what are some wise precautions you will take to safeguard your marriage from infidelity? Be mindful in how I view others, and work towards building my relationship with my husband on a consistent basis. Not comparing him to anyone, unless it is in a positive manner. Focus on his strengths rather than his flaws.  In marriage, what will you do to help protect yourself and your spouse from the damaging influ...

I felt this quote applied well to this weeks questions.  According to Gottman, 69% of all problems in marriage are perpetual. Do you think this estimation is accurate? Why or why not? I think it is accurate. People are so different, come from such different backgrounds. Outside circumstances don't change overnight, and people have outside issues they bring to the marriage. It is okay to realize that you can't fix everything and it is important to know when you can't fix it.  According to Gottman, whether a problem is solvable or perpetual, what is the underlying key to successfully address conflict? How it is addressed. How each person approaches it. Do they approach it with an attitude of eagerness to work together with their spouse, or do they view it as a drudgery.  Happy couples are friends, basically, and part of that is having a willingness to make it work.  What are the repair attempts you use to put on the brakes and lower tension in the...

Based on your observations or life experiences, what have you learned about pride? That it sneaks up on you. I don't think anyone views themselves as prideful. Right now I am watching a show where the main protagonist, is very prideful, but she doesn't see it as being prideful. I think this is a good example of how we can be blindsided by our own pride. It is really easy to see it in others, but less in ourselves.  From your observations, what are the little ways in which pride is manifest in marriage? Making decisions for the other spouse. Doing things to undermine because your way is better. Feeling that you know best for the relationship and your spouses feelings don't matter as much. Feeling like you are the better person, because of whatever, whether you do more "good things" or whatnot. No matter what, we aren't better then anyone else.  Examine recent interactions with your spouse or someone close to you. When your spouse (or someone clo...

What are the little ways in which you stay connected by turning toward your spouse, or someone close to you? What impact do these little actions have on your relationship? I try to take an interest in what he is passionate about. I ask questions and stay actively involved. If he is thinking about doing something that I know he would enjoy, I try to encourage and facilitate as much as possible. It has an impact on our relationship in that he feels like I care more about him and what he enjoys. He feels validated and as a result is more likely to validate me in return, which makes me feel better about the relationship.  What are the challenges with turning toward one another? What can you do to respond to these challenges in a way that strengthens the relationship? It is difficult to be constantly thinking of someone else and choosing to put them first. There are so many distractions in the world, and it can be very difficult to choose to focus on marriage rather then all t...