Marriage Blog

Based on your observations or life experiences, what have you learned about pride? That it sneaks up on you. I don't think anyone views themselves as prideful. Right now I am watching a show where the main protagonist, is very prideful, but she doesn't see it as being prideful. I think this is a good example of how we can be blindsided by our own pride. It is really easy to see it in others, but less in ourselves.  From your observations, what are the little ways in which pride is manifest in marriage? Making decisions for the other spouse. Doing things to undermine because your way is better. Feeling that you know best for the relationship and your spouses feelings don't matter as much. Feeling like you are the better person, because of whatever, whether you do more "good things" or whatnot. No matter what, we aren't better then anyone else.  Examine recent interactions with your spouse or someone close to you. When your spouse (or someone clo...

What are the little ways in which you stay connected by turning toward your spouse, or someone close to you? What impact do these little actions have on your relationship? I try to take an interest in what he is passionate about. I ask questions and stay actively involved. If he is thinking about doing something that I know he would enjoy, I try to encourage and facilitate as much as possible. It has an impact on our relationship in that he feels like I care more about him and what he enjoys. He feels validated and as a result is more likely to validate me in return, which makes me feel better about the relationship.  What are the challenges with turning toward one another? What can you do to respond to these challenges in a way that strengthens the relationship? It is difficult to be constantly thinking of someone else and choosing to put them first. There are so many distractions in the world, and it can be very difficult to choose to focus on marriage rather then all t...

What sacrifices have you willingly made for the sake of your marriage or spouse? How has the sacrifice impacted your marriage? Having children, cleaning house, and trying to put others first. Realizing that I am not always right, and that even if I am right, it isn't worth having hard feelings towards each other. It is more important to work together and put the Lord first, together. I think of the triangle of marriage.   Here is another question that will require soul-searching, humility, and charity: What sacrifice are you currently withholding in marriage that if given willingly, would touch your spouse or your marriage in an important way? Being more of a team player. Focusing on "our" issues and resources instead of mine. President Henry B Eyring said," Pray for the love which allows you to see the good in your companion. Pray for the love that makes weaknesses and mistakes seem small. Pray for the love to make your companion’s joy your own. Pra...

Think of a couple you know well. If married, you could think of your own marriage. Would you say the marriage of this couple is characterized by positive or negative sentiment override? Unfortunately, I think my marriage is more negative then positive. We are working to be better about it though,  What are the indicators that lead you to draw this conclusion? We are constantly misinterpreting each other, and when one of us tries to make a repair, the other does not realize it, just taking it personally.  The central finding of Gottman's research is that strong marriages have strong friendship as a defining characteristic. In fact, Gottman's whole book has to do with building friendship and dealing with conflict in healthy ways so that it does not negatively affect friendship. What does Gottman mean by friendship, and why is friendship so important in marriage? It means liking the person. Really wanting to be with them,  and finding joy in companionshi...

What things in particular are you going to implement into your life to ensure that your marriage is a covenant marriage and not a contractual marriage? Working together towards a common goal. As I get closer to being married to my husband for 7 years, it is clearer then ever that marriage is not easy, and that there is more expected of oneself then an average temporary experience.  It is quite easy to want to bail out, and that does not get easier with time. Our resolve can strengthen, but there are always trials that will test us, and we need to be prepared for them. We need to be careful that we do not get comfortable, because there will always be a new test or trial for us to overcome, as a couple, and as members. It feels better to be part of a team though. Out of the three "wolves" described, do you feel one is particularly detrimental to our society? Which one? Explain. Individualism. Focus on self, is very important to being part of a team or a family. We as ...